Why you should do more things on your own
Self dates are becoming a thing more and more and it’s so wonderful to see! Carving out some time to spend alone is an important part of growth and personal discovery. It can make you feel calmer, more mindful, and more confident. For many of us, however, alone time (especially going out alone in public) can be scary, uncomfortable, and foreign.
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You should be the most important person in your life. I’m not saying that in a “everything should be about you and others should fall to the wayside”. No. All I’m saying is that when you don’t take time to love yourself, you’re not really giving those around you the best of you.
You are the only person that will always be in your life regardless of circumstance. That may be scary to think about but it’s the truth. And after all, if you are stuck with you from the day you’re born until the day you die, it’s a good idea to like yourself. Your life may never be perfect, and it’ll have its up and downs but if you like yourself, it’ll make the ride so much easier.
Figuring out who you are
Taking time to be alone has numerous benefits (even if you’re not an introvert). When you spend some time just with yourself, you’re able to take time to get to know yourself without influences from others around you. You get to figure out what you truly think, your morals, and values.
When you have time just to sit with yourself, it can be easier to figure out what you want from this life. Having the courage to strike out on your own and figure try the things that you want (despite what others may want), you are more likely to find your passion. And when you find your passion, you find your power, and when you find that….girl, there’s no stopping what you can do.
Understanding yourself helps you create deeper and more meaningful relationships with others as well. When you know yourself and accept yourself, you feel less shaky of what you want and/or who you are in relationships.
Freedom of your time
When you take yourself out on a date, there is a certain freedom to it too. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s lead nor do you have take anyone else’s input on what you want to do.
When you’re comfortable hanging out with just yourself, you never feel like you have anyone else to please. There’s no worrying if the other person is having a good time and you don’t have to compromise what you do for anyone. If you want to nap, eat noodles, and watch Netflix in bed all day, you can. Or if you want to go and explore that new obscure art exhibit that no one you know is interested in, you can go and enjoy it without hearing and huffing or seeing any glazed over faces. It’s literally your time to do whatever you choose to do.
Spending some time alone is my favorite way to recharge. Granted I’m an introvert but, I digress. When you’re hurting, drained, or completely burnt out, sometimes it’s really nice to be able to cozy up in bed, turn on the tv, and just tune the world out.
Taking time to recharge alone means that your energy is the only one that you have to deal with. You can truly listen to your body and soul and give it what it needs. And if that means you sleep for 16 hours or you need to eat a pint of ice cream in a glorious bubble bath, then that’s just what you do.
You know what else you can do, when you choose to recharge by yourself? You can hang out in no pants. Introvert or extrovert, that’s a win.
When we are constantly living on other people’s schedules or timelines we end up not always getting what we need. And if you’re constantly in the presence of others, trust me, you’re on someone else’s schedule at some point. Take that time to yourself to genuinely feel good and rested. It’s important to make sure that you are able to recharge the way you need to without any external influence/opinions.
Building Mindfulness Habits
Spending time alone builds mindfulness which leads to a more fulfilling life. Mindfulness and being aware of yourself, your emotions, and needs in the present moment leads to a happier life. If you’re not super experienced with being mindful, you’ll find that it’s much easier to learn on your own rather than with friends and family.
Being aware of your emotions, triggers, biases and more is also a huge step in personal growth. You don’t become better until you realize how you can be better. By spending time alone, you will become more aware of you because, well, you’re who you have to talk with.
Dating yourself really ends up increasing your confidence. Going out into public by yourself and doing an activity that is normally thought to be for 2 or more people (dining out, going to the movies, etc) can seem terrifying. But actually doing it, you realize that no one really notices or cares that you’re enjoying a meal or a movie that none of your friends wanted to see. Because everyone is more worried about themselves.
We don’t date ourselves just for funsies. We date ourselves because it is a powerful display of self love and acceptance. Loving ourselves takes courage. With that courage, comes some impressive unshakable confidence.
When you realize that it feels powerful. You can do the things you want when you want to. You can live the life you want to just because you want to. When you feel strong enough to live your own truth as authentically as possible (meaning to do what you want when you want to), you just feel like an independent bad-ass. Of course, you already are a bad ass you just haven’t realized it yet.
How to Date Yourself
Although you’d think dating yourself would be super easy, there are some tricks that I’ve found really bring a bigger impact to your well being.
Much like with dating another person, wooing yourself is a pretty good way to ensure that you’ll continue to want to date yourself. So, be kind to yourself. Tell yourself how smart + capable you are. Look in the mirror or a reflection of a store window and remark on how beautiful you are. Or how good your booty looks in your outfit. Or notice how you’re killin’ it with that smile. Whatever feels right to you. Just be sure to actively appreciate yourself. It may feel a little awkward at first but friend, you are a glorious woman who doesn’t need anyone to compliment you – not when you have so much material to compliment yourself already!
One my favorite people that I follow on Instagram (who may or may not have 100% inspired this article) makes the best points about dating yourself.
She also makes the best points about everything from positivity to kindness to living your authentic life. If you’re not following Mikaila, you’re seriously missing out on the literal embodiment of sunshine. Check out her ‘gram right here!
Anyways, my favorite thing Mikaila does when she takes herself out is she always dresses as though it’s a date with another person. She says that every time you go out you should dress up to feel good + feel confident. Even if it’s just the grocery store, feel good about yourself take the time to feel good about how you’re dressed. Because every time you go out, you’re going out with yourself and as we said, you deserve to be cherished and appreciated. So appreciate yourself.
When you look good, you feel good. This, of course, doesn’t mean you have to take hours getting ready to go out anywhere. It means that you should feel good about the way you look. Personally, I’ll wear my favorite band t-shirt with a cute pair of jeans because I love the shirt and feel happy wearing it. Other days, I may wear leggings and an oversize sweater because I feel happy being basically wrapped up in a giant blanket.
Another tip learned from Mikaila, don’t take yourself so seriously. Have fun and be true to you. You’re on a date with yourself, so you should probably be yourself.
If you feel like singing, sing. If you want to dance, dance. Get yourself a smoothie because you want one. Laugh when you make a mistake. You are the most beautiful when you are you. So be a giant goofball or a weirdo or a nerd. The world is craving all the things your hiding.
You’d never date a person who wouldn’t let you be who you are. So, why do it to yourself? You too are sunshine, so let that bright light shine.
Dating yourself is just like dating anyone else, except you can do it almost anywhere anytime and you never have to compromise with what show you’re going to watch next.
A couple Self date ideas
- Go somewhere and write (it can be journaling, poetry, blog posts, a novel, whatever) and get to know yourself a bit better.
- Learn a new skill – I took a random cheese making course from Groupon and it was so much fun!
- Go out and do some random acts of kindness
- Take yourself out for brunch. There’s no better food than breakfast food.
- For more ideas… keep reading!
Often I think we confuse being alone with being lonely. Loneliness you can feel anywhere, by yourself, in a crowd, wherever. But alone time is necessary to get closer to yourself. Being stuck with yourself forever is non-negotiable but it can be the best thing. With a strong relationship with yourself, your other relationships will strengthen and you’ll feel more confident than ever with your life. Of course you can really do anything by yourself, however; when you’re getting started, it can be difficult to know where to start. So hopefully, you’ve got some fresh self-date ideas and you’re excited for all the potential you have. As always, you are strong and capable, you’ve got this!
I promised 50 self date ideas and it looks like I fell short…or did I? NOPE! I thought 50 ideas may look a little neater on it’s own little list. So click down below to download your 50 ways you can take yourself out list right now + continue to receive super awesome and exclusive content.
So, don’t let yourself fall short. Pamper yourself, love yourself, discover yourself and download your list right now. You know you want to.