I think we’ve all been there. We so desperately wish to grow into a better, stronger, more bad ass version of ourselves, but our personal growth journey has hit a plateau. Our lives still feel just as “meh” and everything is still pretty much status quo.
We’ve been told that all know that we are in complete control of our lives and that we are allowed to carve our own path. Which of course is even more frustrating because we’re stuck. How do we have the power to get unstuck!? Maybe this whole personal growth thing isn’t for you? Stop! It totally is, you just need to get past this plateau. Well my dear friend, I’ve been where you are, I got to the other side and now I’m still growing and messing up and trying. But life is getting really good. Why though? How on earth do you even know where to start?
Luckily, there are common things that are standing in your way of greatness; some of them external, some are internal. Here are 10 things that might be inhibiting your personal growth + what you can do about it!
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Small minds discuss people as Eleanor Roosevelt said. Gossiping isn’t a good thing. It’s mean, hurtful, and honestly quite draining. It does you no good to waste your time talking shit about others when you could be improving the world with kind words, compassion, and personal growth.
And if you choose to discuss people, discuss the good things they bring to the table. Talk about their good qualities. If they walked into the room as you were talking would you feel good about carrying on with what you’re saying?
I believe that humans as a general thing, connect with other humans – so talking about other humans is going to happen. Speaking with kindness rather than malice, makes you feel better inside, makes you a more trustworthy person, and helps you on your personal growth journey. You are what you speak. If you spit nastiness and poison, it’s going to hurt you too. It’ll keep you stuck in a negative mindset and self-critical. Kindness does the opposite. It beautifys everything it touches. So let it touch everyone you speak of, including yourself.
So mind ya business and let others live. Stop the toxic gossiping. Your social life and well being will thank you.
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Mindlessly scrolling or watching mindless TV isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, surprise, surprise too much social media and TV is being proven to increase depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other mental health problems.
If you struggle with falling into the rabbit hole of your feed try setting a timer for a certain amount of time. This way, after it goes off, your brain is reminded that your scrolling is becoming excessive now and you should do something else.
Staying in toxic situations
And I mean any toxic situation – especially long-term. If your family constantly puts you down, distance yourself for a while. Maybe a SO makes you feel like crap, dump that hoe. If hanging out with a certain friend always feels like a chore, terminate that friendship contract. If your work depletes you and makes you feel as those you’re wasting your life, peace out + find something better.
You are truly in control of the relationships and environments you choose to stay in. Of course, as most humans do, we tend to over complicate a situation with emotions, justifications, and fear. The unknown has more potential for greatness than any toxic situation ever will. You just have to choose to be brave enough to face the unknown.
Keeping up with the Jones’ (or the Kardashians)
Trying to keep up with whatever is most trendy or the latest in technology is so, SO draining. First of all, because there’s always something new and impressive coming out you can never truly keep up with either.
Secondly, honestly the Jones are broke AF and the Kardashians are well…..the Kardashians. They make their living by making people feel as though they lack something important so they can make sales. Love ’em or hate ’em they are good at making sales like that. And quite honestly, that sounds like a pretty exhausting way to live.
You don’t need to worry about the newest shiny thing. Don’t stress about the new self-help trends. Stop wasting your time frantically searching for the newest diets, trends, or things you should be. That’s exhausting and dumb.
A better use of your time is to think about what you truly value. If you value travel, that thousand dollar iPhone is the cost of a sweet vacation in the Caribbean. Is that phone now as worth it when you know that it’ll have a dozen bugs to work out when it first hits the shelves?
If you’re working on yourself, a new personal growth method isn’t going to magically make you perfect, especially if you’re already working on being better than you were yesterday. Actually, constantly switching to different, shiny things ends up being a form of self-sabotage.
So please, just keep plugging away with your growth, your values, and start to believe that you have and you are enough already. There will always be new, shiny things…keeping up with them will make your head explode.
Eating an unbalanced diet
I love to bake, that’s no secret. And I have a ginormous sweet tooth. So, no, I’m not going to tell you to eat only organic health foods and leaves. Life was meant to be enjoyed so enjoy your cupcake. But at the same token, life is about balance. You’re going to feel like shit if all you eat is processed goods and take out. Eat your fruits and veggies, get your protein, drink your water, and have a cookie.
A balanced diet has innumerable effects on health. Your moods are more stable, you sleep is better, your skin is clearer, and your internal health is improved. We have a tendency to look at the world very black and white. “Well I had a cookie today so I’m not healthy.’ or ‘I’m trying to eat better so I can’t enjoy some occasional ice cream’.
Stop that. You can be healthy and enjoy sweets. You deserve to live a beautiful and well-rounded life. Eat a well-rounded diet and you’ll feel good, look good, and stop wasting your energy on depriving yourself of food.
If you struggle with this, I highly suggest checking out this article. Anne writes a great piece on how to get started with intuitive eating and how it can help you have a better relationship with food.
Having a “holier than thou” attitude
This one really grinds my gears. Having a holier than thou attitude makes you look arrogant, close minded, and insecure. Acting as though people can’t live a good or fulfilling life without following the methods, lifestyles, or trends that you do, actually stunts your personal growth.
You can’t continue learning and thus growing if you’re too busy telling everyone else how great you are for being vegan. Or into Crossfit. Or you’re reaching your highest self.
Good for you making what ever lifestyle choices you’ve made. If they’ve helped you excel as a person keep it up! But, understand that you’re just wasting your breath, energy, time, and other people’s time by acting superior to others for your choices. People don’t want to made to feel bad for their lifestyle choices – especially when the only “problem” with them, is that it isn’t what you’re doing.
People don’t want to discuss the things they are doing with you because they won’t want to be criticized for all of the actions they take. And if people feel as though they can’t talk to you because you’re too much of a judgey-McJudger pants, you can’t learn from anyone.
Everyone can bring something to the table, so we should make room at the table for everyone if we truly want to learn more about ourselves and how to grow.
In a short way to sum that up (in a non PC way): don’t be a dick and let people live their lives. What’s best for you may not be best for them. You’re stunting your personal growth by not listening and being critical.
Not taking care of yourself
Self-care isn’t selfish, it is necessary. I will say it again, SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH. Not taking care of yourself is a surefire way to feel depleted, burned out, and constantly exhausted. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world deserves the best of you, not whatever is left of you. Take care of you.
Take some time to rest, replenish, and enjoy your life. I guarantee the problems will be there when you get back, but you’ll be better equipped to handle anything when you take time to recharge.
Being a mess – hot or otherwise
Your physical space reflects your mental space. If the place you call home is an utter disaster, it’s time to get yourself together and clean up your space. Science shows that clutter and mess has a negative effect on the brain resulting in higher levels of stress than being in a tidy home. Your life is stressful enough, just clean your room!
Also, it is my personal belief that it’s hard to grow as a person when you’re constantly tripping over stuff on the floor or frantically searching for clean underwear. Until your physical environment is tidy, it’s too easy to ignore your inner environment. Distractions + mess equal stagnant personal growth.
Neglecting your passions + the little things
Your passions are the things you love. They are your soul food and what drives your creativity and fulfillment in life. If you neglect those, I promise you, you’re going to feel it. Nothing halts your personal growth quite like a lack of fulfillment and joy in life. You’re growing to enjoy more of your life….why aren’t you doing the things that bring you joy?
Even if you don’t have a ton of time to devote to your favorite passions, you have a little time. 5 minutes here, an hour there, it all adds up. Try to make it a goal to do something you truly and wholeheartedly enjoy at least once a day (even if it’s only for 2 minutes).
A lack of gratitude
This is not only something that drains your energy, but it also stops you leading a happy life. If you aren’t grateful for what you have, how on earth do you expect yourself to be happy with your life.
Being grateful of what you have and how far you’ve come helps you to continue to grow. Writing down the things that make you smile, the things you’re proud of, and the things that have helped you every single day open you up to a world of fresh potential.
It sounds crazy, but it’s true! When you’re grateful you change you mindset from a state of “lack” and retrain it to see the world as a beautiful, limitless place where you already have all the possibilities to get what you want and need.
And if you’re stuck on a personal growth plateau, seeing all that potential helps you find your way again. Sometimes seeing how far we’ve come rather than just how much further we think we need to go is a breath of fresh air and enough of a push to keep going.
I highly recommend that you add a daily gratitude ritual to your routines. It has made me feel more confident, less irritable, and more encouraged and hopeful for my future. If you want to start practicing more gratitude and would like a good template to start with, a journal like this really can help you make it an easy process.
Everyone becomes a little stuck sometimes. In our busy-driven society that’s just to be expected. Finding time to work on our personal growth and projects can be difficult. But luckily for you, you can remove the things that keep you stuck and add in things that speed up your growth. We are all so lucky to be in control of our own happiness that sometimes I think we accidentally self-sabotage it. You deserve a good and fulfilling life. And you have every capability to overcome that plateau and become that version of yourself that you’re dreaming of.
Also, we talked earlier about gratitude. Expressing gratitude truly is a life-changing thing. If you don’t believe me, try it for 30 days and see how much better your world begins to seems. Plus, get a handy dandy, simple gratitude template right below this, to start documenting all the things you’re grateful for. Nothing is too big or too small so get your guide + helpful Friday emails right now!
See you soon!